Week by Week
by Mathais
Summary: Devil Survivor. He lives the week again and again, trying to decide what future he wants. A study of the New Game Plus. Very mild MC/Atsuro.


Story Title: Week by Week

Author: Mathais

Rating: T

Fandom: Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor

Warnings: Sort of BL

Pairings: Sort of MC/Atsuro

Summary: He lives the week again and again, trying to decide what future he wants. A study of the New Game Plus.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters and elements of Shin Megami Tensei: Devil Survivor; they belong to Atlus. I'm just here to play.

**OoOoO**

He fought his way through the days of the Yamanote Lockdown. He witnessed countless instances of human depravity as he and his team struggled to not only survive but make it out with as many people as possible. He saved everyone he could, let no one die who could be saved.

In the end, he didn't want to fight anymore.

He wanted peace.

He watched the suffering humans put others through. He watched the numerous cruelties that human visited upon each other when given the slightest power. He watched his world descend into chaos.

And he fought himself disgusted.

And so he followed God's will and became the angels' Messiah, leading humans into the light.

On his first night as Messiah, the full weight of his position fell on him. He wondered if God's laws and humanity's will could ever be reconciled.

What God wanted... What his council of angels said he wanted...

Was this what he truly wanted?

He kicked most of his allies out of the bedroom he'd been given, leaving only Atsuro and Yuzu. The three of them sat on his bed, not quite touching but taking comfort from proximity.

"Am I doing the right thing?" he asked quietly, bringing his knees up to his chin.

Atsuro did him the favor of not misunderstanding. "I don't know. It seemed like the only way to make it out." Atsuro's eyes remained shadowed by his hat, and he wouldn't meet his eyes.

Yuzu answered from his other side. "We saved who we could, didn't we? We made sure that humans survived. We passed His test."

"And it's our job to make them continue to survive, right?" Atsuro added, placing a hand on his shoulder.

He hummed noncommittally. He was so sick and tired of fighting... he was so sick of it all. He just wanted it to end and have peace return, and Amane had offered a solution which seemed guaranteed to work. Succeeding God's test to get the angels to back off, leading humans into a new era under God's justice.

He just wasn't sure this was what he wanted anymore. He thought he could save everyone this way and bring peace...

But enforcing God's will on the masses? Was this what he wanted? Was turning humanity into the sterile populace he had seen really what he wanted?

Did he want to offer a narrow road to salvation with one hand and a sword to strike down all else in the other?

"Stay with me?" he instead pleaded.

He didn't want to be alone.

Atsuro smiled and pulled him down. Yuzu snuggled into his other side, leaving him sandwiched in a cocoon of warmth.

He fell into a fitful sleep, heavy thoughts on his mind.

**OoOoO**

He awoke on the first day of the Lockdown once more. The memory of the trials God had put him and his friends through made him think this was another test.

Demons came more easily to him, and he retained his Compendium to summon his stronger allies. They listened to him even though he was weaker, and they grew faster.

This time around, he was stronger, better prepared.

Even though this time around, he saved everyone again, he began to pay attention to other things.

People... were alive.

They were beautiful in a way that he'd forgotten.

Each soul was a multifaceted gem, each unique from one another. Sure, some were dull and scratched, and light didn't always survive the darkest of moments, but... Each soul was special, brilliant in its own way.

Under God's rule by proxy, people had become dull rank and file. Being back in this richness was a breath of fresh air. Everything was sharp, clean.

People were _alive_.

And he wondered if he took the easy way out when followed Amane and acquiesced to God. Was this loss of individuality really such a good price for the peace the angels promised?

This time he actively worked to subvert God's plans. He built up the strongest team he could, and he took Naoya's hand this time around to become the King of Demons and the new Overlord. He would wage war against the heavens for putting humans through this awful test.

He placed the chaotic individual over the sterile masses but alienated many of his former allies in the process. He fought against them all to forge this new world free from the influence of God's dictatorship.

As he stood on this precipice ready to storm the world, he found himself... hesitating.

Yuzu was not there this time, having abandoned him on this path, and so he brought only Atsuro to his bedroom this time.

"Thank you for following me," he said softly as he sat on his bed. Atsuro didn't respond, only gazed down at himself.

"I didn't... I didn't think it was worth bowing down to God and losing our freedom in order to survive. I wanted... I wanted us to be free. So, I fought," he explained.

Atsuro finally looked up. Through the edges of his eyes were creased with worry and stress, he hugged him around the waist. Atsuro met his eyes squarely and said, "I trust you. I followed you here because I believe in you."

"Freedom," he whispered.

"Yes, freedom," Atsuro concluded.

_"But freedom at what cost?"_ he wondered. Strong slaughtered the weak in this world... But he'd chosen it to remove himself from God's will—to remove His tyranny. But the images he'd seen before he retired... Those individuals he had fought for...

Why had he done this again?

He needed Atsuro beside him as he closed his eyes.

He declared war against God, but...

Guilt curling in his stomach, he clutched Atsuro close to his body and fell asleep.

**OoOoO**

He woke up again at the beginning.

He became the Messiah.

**OoOoO**

He woke up again.

He took the mantle of the Overlord.

**OoOoO**

Messiah.

**OoOoO**

Overlord.

**OoOoO**

Law.

**OoOoO**

Chaos.

**OoOoO**

He didn't know how many times he'd lived this week, only that no matter which path he took through God's ordeal, he awoke at the beginning.

He betrayed and was betrayed by so many people. He saved and didn't save some, watched as Midori turned her back or Keisuke burned. Sometimes Mari fought and sometimes not. Maybe Kaido came with him or maybe he just killed, and sometimes he managed to save Gin and sometimes not. He tore Jezebel out of Amane so many times.

Yuzu came with him sometimes; in others, she abandoned him on his path.

He was so sick of this.

He was sick of fighting, sick of saving.

He just wanted this to end.

Reaching the end of his rope, he came onto the night of the last day and realized...

He didn't want to follow Amane. He didn't want to create such a blank world.

But he didn't go to Naoya or Kaido either. He couldn't stand the cruelty that followed.

This time, he went to Yuzu and ran.

Tearing through Izuna and Amane and Loki to the exit, he forced himself through the barricade and broke free from it all...

...only to realize that he had brought the demons with him.

The world outside became a hell that he'd managed to stop before.

Demon tamers roamed free, unchecked, with no one to stop them.

He looked at Atsuro and Yuzu, the only ones to go with him on his desperate escape, and his fear and guilt reflected in their eyes. They managed to find shelter away from the others, a small space they could claim as their own, and they huddled together for protection.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," he whispered. "I didn't realize..."

"It's my fault," Yuzu interrupted, her face still pale. "I pushed you into this..."

"But I still chose," he replied. "I still chose this."

"And we followed you," Atsuro confirmed. "We followed you, so we're just as culpable."

"I didn't want to choose. I didn't want to be King," he said. "I didn't want to fight for God but I didn't want to... I didn't want to let people suffer either. I just..."

"It's all right." Atsuro nudged closer to him this time. "We understand."

He'd missed this closeness, he realized. He'd forgotten the warmth they brought to him through the endless weeks.

"Do you think..." Atsuro whispered. "Do you think we can just make this all go away?"

"I just want... I just want things to go back to normal," Yuzu added.

_"Me too,"_ he thought to himself.

They huddled together in their shared misery, he wished with all of his heart that he could do something for them.

**OoOoO**

He awoke on the first day with tears in his eyes.

He pulled Atsuro close and hugged him for all he was worth, ignoring his token protests. He dragged Yuzu into a hug as well, taking no heed of her blush.

Though he wouldn't elaborate on his tears...

He had another chance.

He had hope.

He fought through the week with a vigor that he hadn't had in so long. He saved everyone—_everyone_. He made sure that Kaido didn't kill Keisuke, that Midori survived and didn't betray them. He helped Mari and Kresnik defeat Kudlak and brought Kaido over to his side. He prevented both Haru's and Gin's deaths, and at the end of it all, he stood victorious on that last night.

No matter how many iterations he went though, there had always been one constant.

One person had stood by his side no matter what path he chose.

One person who he had come to depend on through all these weeks, even if he had no inkling of it. One person he went to sleep with, held and was in turn held by, on that final night when the world reset.

"Atsuro," he said. "What do you think I should do?"

Atsuro gave a shaky smile. "I think... It's a waste to lose the demon power. We can avoid the final option if we have them under our control, right? Think of the benefits to humanity!" His voice grew stronger as he continued to argue his point.

He listened with an open heart, an open mind, and an open hope.

He listened to the one person who never abandoned him and who he didn't have to force to help.

He listened and made it happen.

And he thought, _"Yes, this is it."_

This world was without God's interference, without him as the Messiah or the Overlord, where he had control over the demons but shared that control for the benefit of humanity. The strong helped the weak, and the weak kept the strong in check. He aided this world from the background, not dispensing God's justice or crushing people beneath his feet but helping all equally.

All for the sake of humanity. He believed in them and entrusted the future to them.

He let Atsuro take the lead on this one. For all the countless iterations Atsuro supported him in without fail, he would do the same.

Though he remained the King of Bel in this new world, he followed Atsuro.

Always.

**OoOoO**

...he awoke on the eight day of hell and knew what he had to do.

"Yuzu, Atsuro," he said.

He shook both of his friends awake, though his hand lingered on Atsuro's shoulder in memory of his dream.

"What is it?" Yuzu grumbled, rubbing sleep out of her eyes.

"We need to head back."

"What, why?" she yelped.

His hand gripped Atsuro's shoulder as he explained, "We need to take responsibility. We need to... We need to atone and save humanity. This can't continue."

Atsuro's darkened face slowly cleared. Though still stressed, some of Atsuro's despair seemed to lift from his shoulder. "Right. Because we want to save people."

"That's what we wanted all along, right?" Yuzu asked softly. "To save people." She stared down at her hands before clenching them in new resolve. "We should... Let's go."

He stood and stared out at the distance. Neither protested as he pulled both close to him, never losing the tactile contact he had.

Together, the three of them returned to the place they abandoned in order to fix their mistakes and bring hope to humanity.

**OoOoO**

He came back to consciousness with Atsuro close against his chest and guilt dissipating in his stomach.

It had been a wonderful dream.

He had learned so much, done so much...

He remembered what he truly needed.

"Atsuro," he whispered and gently woke his friend.

"Yeah?" Atsuro muttered.

"I know what my first orders will be," he said.

Atsuro perked up, their eyes meeting. He saw the shadows there as Atsuro asked, "Yeah?"

"Take out only the angels. Protect any humans at all cost."

Some of the shadows in his eyes lightened as a small smile crossed his face. "That sounds great."

"We have a busy day," he said. "Come with me, and let's do this."

"I've got your back, always." Atsuro said.

The Overlord rose up and, never letting go of Atsuro, strode forward to face this new day. He would wage war against God, yes, but he would never forget that he had done it for the humans he so loved.

So they could flourish without God's tyranny.

**OoOoO**

He felt like he'd been asleep for months.

He woke up entangled with Yuzu and Atsuro, thoughts cleared as a result of his dreams.

As he gazed upon his friends, he found his smile once more.

He knew what he had to do.

He found Atsuro looking at him when he brought his attention back to reality.

"What's up?" Atsuro asked.

"I figured out what we should do," he said.

Yuzu's breaths were warm against his neck as she asked, "And what's that?"

"We accept everyone," he said. "We give everyone back their individual will. We don't kill unless all options have been exhausted, no matter what the angels say. Screw them; I'm the Messiah and I'll save everyone my way."

He saw Atsuro's smile spread smile, echoed by Yuzu.

"Yeah," Atsuro said.

"That sounds perfect," Yuzu agreed.

Surrounded by his friends, he got to his feet. He knew this would be a hard path.

But he had attained this peace for humanity's future, not because God willed it.

And if he had to stand up against God to do so in order to keep the peace, then so be it.

Flanked by his friends, the Messiah headed out into the new world he wanted to protect.

**OoOoO**

_Rise and flourish in this world you've built._

_Let's survive._


End file.
